Self Study

 

One of the things I've always found most profound about studying the human body is how immediately useful every little bit of information is. Almost nothing you learn besides the exceptionally pedantic and needlessly latinized names for things is useless to you. Even something as trivial as learning about the shape of the bowels, or the asymmetry of your stomach gives you a way to ascribe some sense to feelings that are otherwise usually kind of disembodied. Knowing how your blood vessels react in certain situations and why tells you why you feel a certain way, like when you leave a restaurant at night and you feel colder than when you went in because more blood has been shunted to your digestive system to make sure your meal is comfortably metabolized. 
    For me it's almost like psychotherapy. As someone terminally obsessed with the "why" of things,  subtle feelings that I've managed to overlook for many years suddenly have a reason for being there, and better yet, I usually have a way to control them knowing that. It's endless peace of mind to know why you feel the way you do, from where in your body to the chemical that causes it. It's satisfying for once to have a relatively straightforward answer in life,  not to suggest that medical answers are straightforward by default, or that one approach to medicine is an unequivocal truth in the body.  On the contrary, what often seems to be the case is the rule of the exception, when you realize that the textbook sort of contradicts if not itself, then some compelling evidence in your own life or someone you know. 
    I think everyone should be taught more about their bodies in this way. Not as a textbook study of anatomy, that would bore far too many people to be effective (I personally would approve of course), but perhaps as a more meditative study of your own body and feelings. I recall anecdotally that one issue scientists may encounter on the quest to create a simulated consciousness is the inherent lack of a body. Probably in the form of some idle youtube video, it was explained that though we aren't always aware of the autonomic nervous system, its separation from the "conscious" nervous system is a very manufactured idea. An integral part of being you can't simply be conveyed with your thoughts, subconscious or otherwise. A person is inextricably linked to the somewhat mysterious and unknowable machinations of the body that for whatever reason we overlook. 
    It doesn't seem like too much to ask that we have some biological imperative to be aware of these subtleties. I mean beyond the instinct of hunger, thirst, lust, fear. Quite a lot of your organs are very good at getting their point across for the purpose of survival, whether immediate or as a species I suppose. That's not quite satisfying to me though, at least not as a person. I can see why there isn't really a "need" that evolution could select for to have a conscious awareness of when your thyroid is acting up, or the exact moment your food leaves the transverse colon, or whether that headache is dehydration, exhaustion, illness, or something else. It's still a fervent wish however! I don't really see why it's impossible either, afterall our brains managed to fit in an awful lot of space to dedicate toward existential dread and anxiety and self-reflection, which is nice and all, but I would trade in at least half of that for a quarter more natural intuition about my body. 
    When I think of education about. this topic I think of some conjunction between the western didactic approach to learning anatomy and physiology, and something more spiritual and less jargon-y that a lay person could appreciate. For instance, anatomical yoga, which might include all of the nourishing aspects of yoga for the mind and body and. soul,  while also pointing out which muscles you are flexing and stretching, what that looks like, and how to know what it feels like when one isn't stretching properly. What do your quads like? Oxygen, stretching,  exercise, gradual building, more, etc. How can you tell if that's working? What do your happy muscles feel like? What does being stressed physically feel like in your. eyes, and and arms, and whole body. The list could go on forever, and I suppose other cultures probably have this more well integrated, and it could be as simple as some people simply always grew up asking these questions and their parents always knew how to answer. In my. own life I feel like that is somewhat true, but not entirely. I didn't know where my stomach was really until I was about 13. I had persistent issues with appetite and eating which I thought for most of my young childhood were just that, something wrong with how my stomach felt and how it reacted to food. Now, years after the fact I realize it was just a side effect of a purely psychosomatic sensation of anxiety. I was a nervous wreck in ways I wasn't able to address as a child, and it manifested as a physical discomfort which I took at face value. Again, I can see why this sort of call and response your body. seems to play with your mind has gotten alone okay for the most part, but it really winds up being unhelpful. 
    If I had known that my stomach wasn't actually sick, and that I wasn't actually going to throw up all the time (I rarely did) I could have easily unclenched my fist about the physical issue and instead just focused on the problem. But I didn't know that about my body, and so I worried and worried and burned ulcerous holes in my gut and the the gut of my mind wondering if I was going to be okay. 
    Other examples are much more widely understood in adulthood today. Blood Glucose, the impact of diet and exercise, air quality, over the counter medication and more are all commonly discussed, understood and acted on. There are tons more things going on in your body which your mind is constantly making up reasons for that often have nothing to do with the actual cause. This leads to a disillusionment with our own bodies and causes your body-mind needless confusion and distress which is often assuaged in the wrong ways.